Top 16 Lesser Known Executive Privileges
- Executive dibs on fries in the bottom of the bag...
anywhere, any time, *any* bag
- Authorized to dispatch towel-wielding Secret Service agents
at White House pool parties to apply stinging "rat tails"
- "You're Greek? Hey, come on up to my place tonight and we'll
lob a couple of missiles at Istanbul."
- 5-Day video rentals from Justice Thomas's "personal collection"
- Prerogative to suspend constitutional prohibition on "Cruel and
Unusual Punishment" should he feel like appearing in public
wearing gym shorts
- The "President's Dozen" -- 15 doughnuts for the price of 12 at
all DC doughnut shops
- Platinum membership in The Players Club AND front-row seats at
any Wrestlemania event
- In case of pants-too-tight emergencies, there's Gertie, the
little-used corset-cincher left over from the McKinley
- When competing on Jeopardy, not required to answer in the
form of a question
- Goodbye, Extra Value Meal -- hello, Super-sized Extra Value
Meal with Apple Pie and Milkshake!
- Somebody piss you off? Make their yard a national park
and it'll be wall-to-wall Winnebagos.
- Can order lawn mowed by upside-down Marine Corps helicopter
- One GET OUT OF LAWSUIT FREE card per term
- Allowed to bring bucket of fried chicken to opera performances
at Lincoln Center
- Commander-in-Chief status + surplus Partiot missiles
= 1 bitchin' 4th of July!
- Unlimited Murphy's Oil to maintain Vice President's natural
Submitted By: Anonymous
May 27, 1998 12:31
This joke is rated: PG