The Top 15 Ways Your Life Would Change if Your Tongue Were 2 Feet Long
- Wet willies from two tables away!
- Almost guaranteed to be Madonna's sole boyfriend for at least
a week or two.
- Now can carry *two* dozen donuts while juggling.
- Much easier to clean behind the refrigerator.
- You can finally do that 3-puppet show without getting arrested.
- Two-handed typing during cybersex!
- Interested in Anna Nicole Smith but you're 18, healthy and
poor? Not a problem anymore!
- You'd be a shoe-in for Hollywood "Lizard Boy" roles.
- For once, it'll be the dog's turn to look at you with envy.
- You'd need Mick Jagger's lips & John Elway's teeth to stay in
- When picking nose, can "cut out the middle man."
- Tie a cherry stem with your tongue? Hell, gobble a handful and
weave a friggin' picnic basket!
- Increased number of taste buds finally allows one to discern
between Kool-Aid flavors.
- Your previously-neglected navel would suddenly be your second
cleanest body part.
- The counselor at Oversized Features Anonymous shows interest in
you, but you can't help but question her motives.
Submitted By: Melissa
Apr 15, 1997 07:54
This joke is rated: PG