33 Ways To Be Annoying
- Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual
- Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
- Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends
in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your
pen while talking to others.
- Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a
camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
- Speak only in a "robot" voice.
- Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
- Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food,
and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
- Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra
dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
- Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
- Sniffle incessantly.
- Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
- Name your dog "Dog".
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in
all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up".
- Reply to everything someone says with "that's what
- Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as
part of your "astronaut training".
- Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue
your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
- Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the
listener it was a "real hoot".
- Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying
everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
- Practice making fax and modem noises.
- Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and
copy them to your boss.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and
see if people play along to avoid the appearance of
- Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard,
and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person".
- Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance
- Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
- Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences,
producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll
be saying more any moment.
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your
hands over your ears.
- Disassemble your pen and "accidently" flip the ink
cartridge across the room.
- Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action
in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
- Send really long joke e-mails to all the people you
Submitted By: Anonymous
This joke is rated: PG