Weekend Getaway

I had sought California Gold Country lodgings, via the Internet, that accepted pets . . . .

I would have felt silly or conspicuous in asking motel owner Rene: "You do have air conditioning, right?" Assuming that asking such a question would have occurred to me in the first place.

Rene sounded so nice on the phone. Certainly his fine establishment would reflect only the utmost in taste and comfort.

And by the way, what's the temperature in them thar foothills? In the 90s, eh? Real good then.

Buyer (renter) beware.

We had a gotten a late start for our country weekend foray. I should have gotten up earlier. There had a been a brief power outtage. Dan woke me up late. As I frantically packed and guzzled coffee, I chose what to pack. Clothes. Shoes. Toiletries. Hair Support items. Books. Magazines. Art supplies. Notebook and pen. My bases were covered.

The inevitable "Aren't you ready to go yet?!" period transpired, as I tied up loose ends around the apartment. Hey. It's not *easy* getting ready to go. Certain XY chromosomed people just don't understand.

The trip began as usual with Dan driving and myself navigating. I like being a passenger. I 'like to direct'. We made only one wrong turn, based upon the fact that I used a sense memory rather than the roadmap, to negotiate. Direction righted almost immediately, the navigator experienced only minimum bitching from the driver.

Sparsely treed golden velvet foothills gave way to patches of forest. Through the Gold Country towns we went: Amador City, Sutter Creek, Jackson, Drytown, Angels Camp, Tuttletown, Sonora. Then Eureka! Columbia. We had found it.

The Columbia Gem Motel sat just East of Parrotts Ferry Road, which seemed to be a major thoroughfare.

We signed in, made nice and introduced our dog Sugarbear. "Oooh she's a SWEET doggie, yes she IS!" People inevitably say. "But I'm a BOY doggie, a guy pooch!" Sugarbear would probably respond, if he could.

We made our way to Room #9. We entered. As Dan began to unpack the car, I looked for the thermostat. Having special XX chromosomal powers of Thermostat Location, I found it right away. But it did not seem to work.

Top Ten Signs That Your Lodgings Are Not Four Star

  1. Knobs are missing. There is not a knob in sight, which makes it impossible to turn on that AC wall unit, which probably doesn't work anyway.
  2. The windows are open to allow air to circulate.
  3. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?
  4. There are Rottweilers penned directly behind your room. "Woof WOOF WoooF!" They say, wanting to communicate with *your* pet.
  5. There are teeny tiny bars of Cashmere Bouquet in the bathroom. Hey! I didn't even know that they still made this stuff. I should have snitched the unopened bar as a curiosity, or to start a Soap Museum.
  6. There is a cartoonish, antiquated intercom system on the rear wall. It has a black square push button. It has a volume control. The knob is missing.
  7. There is no telephone in the room.
  8. The other patrons are friendly. A little TOO friendly. A little TOO easy with the giving of directions. Think Twilight Zone or Pod People.
  9. The Pod People have a Pod People Party, barbeque, and music fest a few yards from your door. But can you complain to the owner? He may be one of *Them*.
  10. There is a list of room 'do s and don'ts'. Doggies must not touch the 'good' quilt.

We'd had recreational plans for the area, but by this time were exhausted and wilted. It was hot *outside* as well. There is always next time. We found a fan, and decided to stay in the room to periodically whine and complain at one another.

The upside is that Dan caught up on his reading. We watched a funny movie together. I wrote longhand by candlelight and have quite a good start on my 'Grandmother' piece.

It has been my experience that almost any change of scene is stimulating, and I will always have fond memories of simply writing and puttering in various rustic rooms and cabins in the foothills and mountains of beautiful Northern California.

It's nice to be home though. My bed is not too hard or too soft, it's just right. And my AC is crankin'! :)


{:-o ~

Columbia Gem Motel

Submitted By: AF Waddell
Aug 23, 2000 09:25

This joke is rated: PG