Ovakill, a major pharmaceutical company, today announced Vagvigor, the first orgasm pill for women.
Vagvigor's research and availability had been hindered by lack of interest and funding, as with the research of new birth control methods. It could possibly have been marketed years ago.
The drug works much in the same way as Viagra, the erection drug for men, by affecting blood flow and thereby affecting sexual arousal and response.
However, unlike Viagra, Vagvigor is not covered by most medical insurance plans, and costs twice as much. Available in suppository or pill form, it comes packaged in a small pink box.
Currently, a TV ad controversy is brewing.
"Vagvigor could be advertised in the same manner as 'feminine protection products' ." Stated an ad agency spokesman.
"The ad could be very vague and condescending, just enough to pique interest, and would display no actual product usage, of course!"
"And of course, we would not want to encourage sexual activity! At least not overtly."
"Plus we'd like to make a buck, ya know?!" Concluded the spokesman.
In studies Vagvigor has produced orgasm in previously nonorgasmic women, and has increased orgasmic intensity and duration in normally orgasmic women.
It is believed that the drug works by increasing pelvic blood flow, and by inducing a type of fugue fantasy state; unfortunately this state prevents women from being aware of, or of remembering a given sexual experience. "This particular side effect may present a problem, we think." Stated a medical researcher.
Dosage is key in achieving the desired results. Vagvigor is also available in Timed Release form. Timing of dosage and effects is also key in proper usage of the drug.
In studies, the use of Vagvigor decreased the subject's concentration, making subjects light headed and prone to accidents. Car accidents increased by 35 %. Kitchen fires increased by 30 %. Spontaneous Public Orgasm, or SPO, was documented in 75 % of users.
Other possible side effects include restlessness, anxiety, euphoria, insomnia, and a craving for chocolate. However, these possible side effects should not be considered a deciding factor in using the drug, medical sources say, as many suffer these symptoms anyway.
Vagvigor is currently available by prescription.
Disclaimer: The preceding is a news parody, and is for entertainment purposes only. Do not bother calling your friendly MDeity, or running to your friendly neighborhood pharmacy (!) ;)
Copyright 2000 By A F Waddell. All Rights Reserved.
Submitted By: A F Waddell
Feb 6, 2001 07:01