The Almighty Senators is a rock (ok, more than just rock) group from Baltimore, MD. They kick ass! I suggest you check them out. Ok, I insist you check them out. Anyway, I am on their mailing list and this was an excerpt from the latest...

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You know, I feel for you employed folks. We've recently been forced into the realm of 'making an honest living.' Our vacation was too long, we ran up a huge recording bill, and then our idiot bass-player broke himself and forced us into another vacation period. So it's off to the want ads. I'm handling it pretty well though. Here's how my last interview went:

(interviewer): "Mr BS, we've been over your resume (which was a completely legitimate resume. Education, goals, work experience, and related skills- It just wasn't mine.), and you seem to be just what we're looking for. The starting salary is $71,000. Are you interested in the position?"
(me): "Well sure. I've never made that kind of money legally before. I've got to tell you though; This isn't exactly what I expected."
(interviewer): "uhhhh..... what, uhhhhh..... how do mean....."
(me): "You see, my cell-mate and I must have gotten our classifieds mixed up. I responded to his ads and visa-versa. It's cool though- my buddy's got a computer and he could show me how it works tonight. I mean, how hard could it be to be the Senior Software Developer, right? s---, I was pretty good at video games, and the Burger King had those computer registers- who really needs school when you've got all that experience?"

By this time the interviewer has vacated the office, I've got a hand full of pens and a new stapler, and I'm down the street in front of a double Stoli celebrating another successful interview before security comes to escort me out of the building. The working world's tough, but I'm adjusting.

remember- never try to expand your mind unless you've got a really big head