Church Football

Quarterback Sneak
Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
Draw Play
What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.
Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.
Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.
Staying in the Pocket
What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.
Two-minute Warning
The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
Instant Replay
The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.
Sudden Death
What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".
You're called on to pray and are asleep.
End Run
Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
Flex Defense
The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.
Halfback Option
The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.
The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.

Submitted By: Anonymous
Sep 16, 1999 12:59

This joke is rated: PG