Dickin' With A City Boy

Ok. Here's the situation. On AOL, there is what we call "Instant Messages." These are like a windows version of UNIX talk/write. You send someone a message and a window appears on their screen. Anyway, this guy IMs a friend of mine at work [T.D] and tries to pick her up. So, naturally, she IMs me "Mike, hit on him." So I do. This is a transcript of our dialog:

MikeBianc:    Hey, big guy. I hear you're looking for a date this w/e....
After a long pause
CityBoy033:  no who are you?
MikeBianc:    too bad. My husband's away next week on business and I was looking for a good time.
MikeBianc:      I'm a big Braves fan, myself . . . .
Another long pause
Mikebianc:   hello?
CityBoy033:  yes
CityBoy033:  sorry was on the phone
MikeBianc:    oh. so are you interested?
CityBoy033:  are you male or female?
MikeBianc:    female. On my husband's acct.
MikeBianc:    I'm really into older guys
CityBoy033:  i said yes cause im not interested in gays
MikeBianc:    where you gonna be?
CityBoy033:  staying at the Marriott Suites near Dulles Airport
CityBoy033:  how old are you?
MikeBianc:    25
CityBoy033:  what do you look like?
MikeBianc:    long blond hair. Green eyes. 5'6" 110lbs. Just got back from the beach last week, so I'm good and tanned.
MikeBianc:    5'10", 185 for you? are you muscular?
CityBoy033:  you sound great! im avarage built i guess have a pic?
MikeBianc:    not electronic, sorry
MikeBianc:    you?
CityBoy033:  yes i have my pic but give out only for trade
MikeBianc:    oh. phooey. what can I do?
CityBoy033:  go to kinkos right now with your best looking photo and have it scanned cost you $2 and 2 min and come back and send it to me!!
MikeBianc:    I don't think there's a Kinkos around here. besides, I couldn't leave work just like that!
MikeBianc:    How do I know you're even worth the $2?
CityBoy033:  ok another thing you can do is to tell me what other men describe you do they say you re... pretty, cute, sexy, seductive, inteligent or ???
CityBoy033:  execuse me! you will know once you meet me i am worth $9.99!
MikeBianc:    should I grab a guy, here, and let him tell you . . . ?
CityBoy033:  tell me what?
MikeBianc:    what I look like
CityBoy033:  yeah please do!! (this is fun!)
MikeBianc:    hold on
MikeBianc:    hot,quick witted, beautiful smile, great legs, terribly seductive. Bedroom eyes.
CityBoy033:  true statements?
CityBoy033:  sounds yumm!!!
MikeBianc:    of course. she's the hottest thing at the office
CityBoy033:  have you slept with her?
CityBoy033:  so you have a desire to do something with her if chances exisit?
MikeBianc:    not I, I'm sad to say
MikeBianc:    oh yes. (she's hitting me in the arm now).
CityBoy033:  what kind of work relationships do you have with her?
CityBoy033:  does she report to you?
MikeBianc:    no. we are co-workers. We have the same boss.
CityBoy033:  has she been flirting with anyone in office?
MikeBianc:    she flirts with us all.
MikeBianc:    You should see her when she's drunk at the company outings!!
CityBoy033:  really? dont you guys have any scanner or digital camera in the office there at all?
MikeBianc:    There is one guy who has one, but he called in sick today.
CityBoy033:  why dont you break into his office and use it can u do that?
MikeBianc:    No. we can't. First of all, he's a little higher up on the ladder than we are.
MikeBianc:    his boss is the same as our boss's boss
MikeBianc:    This is me again. I really should be getting back to work. So are we gonna do this or what?
CityBoy033:  yes do that!! can you meet me at the marriott suites near dulles airport this coming wed night?
MikeBianc:    ya know. you really can't send me a pic, though? A girl can't be too careful!
CityBoy033:  first tell me what kind of company do you work for just to make sure also promise me that you will not show my pic to anyone else lastly promise me that you will get your pic sent to me tomorrow
MikeBianc:    I work for a defense contractor in Ballston, VA I promise that I won't show anyone else Yes, I will send you a pic of me as soon as I can
CityBoy033:  can you send your pic to me tomorrow because i will be leaving wed morning for Washington dulles
MikeBianc:    Yes. The guy w/the camera should be in tomorrow AM. If not, I'll look for a Kinkos or something
MikeBianc:    (I don't think he was really sick)
CityBoy033:  do you have your own screen name? what can i call you? call me Yaz
MikeBianc:    no. I don't usually go online. Call me Rosa.
CityBoy033:  rosa nice to meet you!
MikeBianc:    The pleasure is mine.
CityBoy033:  you dont work in herndon right? just to make sure because i know someone i deal with by the name of rosa
MikeBianc:    This is so exciting. No. I work out of Ballston in Arlington.
CityBoy033:  did i tell you that im from japan yes im asian? like asian men?r
MikeBianc:    and of course, Rosa is not my real name
CityBoy033:  what is your real name?
CityBoy033:  u dont have to tell me at this point
MikeBianc:    oh wow. I've never been with an Asian. Thanks. I'd rather wait untill I meet you.
CityBoy033:  ready for my pic?
MikeBianc:    sure
CityBoy033:  there babe!
MikeBianc:    nice pic. nothing to write home about, though.
CityBoy033:  what do you mean?
MikeBianc:    you're kind of pretty. I was expecting something a little more adventurous.
CityBoy033:  so a bit discouraged?
MikeBianc:    more rugged (you seemed to enjoy so much outdoor stuff). A little
CityBoy033:  are you still interested in meeting me this wed?
MikeBianc:    Probably not.
MikeBianc:    sorry
CityBoy033:  its ok
MikeBianc:    thanks for understanding
MikeBianc:    good luck
CityBoy033:  sure bye
MikeBianc:    Oh, btw. T.D says, "Hi."
CityBoy033:  hi back bye

Submitted By: Mike Biancaniello
Jul 23, 1997 19:48

This joke is rated: PG