The Vice Presidents:
- Leaps tall buildings in a single bound,
- Is more powerful than a locomotive.
- Is faster than a speeding bullet.
- Walks on water.
- Gives policy to God.
- Leap short buildings in a single bound.
- Are more powerful than a switch engine.
- Are just as fast as a speeding bullet.
- Walk on water if the sea is calm.
- Talk to God.
- Leap short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
- Are almost as powerful as a switch engine.
- Can fire a speeding bullet.
- Walk on water in an indoor swimming pool.
- Talk with God if special request is approved.
- Barely clear Quanset huts.
- Lose tug of war with a locomotive.
- Misfire frequently.
- Swim well.
- Are occasionally addressed by God.
- Make high marks on walls trying to leap tall buildings.
- Are run over by locomotives.
- Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting personal injury.
- Dog paddle.
- Talk to animals.
- Run into buildings, face first.
- Recognize locomotives two out of three times.
- Are not issued ammunition.
- Can stay afloat with a life jacket.
- Talk to walls.
The Department Secretary:
- Fall over doorsteps when attempting to enter buildings.
- Say, "Look at Choo Choo"
- Wet themselves with water pistols.
- Play in mud puddles.
- Mumble to themselves.
- Lifts tall buildings and walks under them.
- Kicks locomotives off the tracks.
- Catches speeding bullets in her bare teeth and eats them.
- Freezes water with a single glance.
- IS GOD.
Submitted By: Melissa Moran
Jul 15, 1997 19:39
This joke is rated: PG