Darwin Awards Report

 6/x/97 A driver, who crashed into the side of a 3000 ton wheat train

 and was dragged in his car more than a kilometre before being slammed

 into a pylon at the edge of a cliff, fell to his death as he walked

 for help.

 The Queensland, Australia man, 63, and his female companion, 64, were

 driving along the Newell Highway near Moree, in Northwestern New

 South Wales, on Wednesday night, police said.

 Their car crashed into the side of a fully laden, 600 metre long

 train at a level crossing.  (I guess that would be harder to miss

 than the side of a barn!) The vehicle became wedged between the

 second last and last carriages and was dragged sideways beside the

 track as the train continued towards Moree, a police spokeswoman


 After being carried more than a kilometre and a half they approached

 an unfenced bridge with a 10 metre drop, the spokeswoman said. 

 Moments before they reached the precipice, the car was struck by a

 pylon, dislodged from the train and spun several times. When it came

 to rest, the pair managed to free themselves from the wreck (I wonder

 if it was a Volvo?) with minor bruising and the man set off along the

 railway line for help.  But he slipped on the bridge and fell to his

 death, the spokeswoman said.

 The woman was eventually able to raise the alarm and was recovering

 in Moree hospital with chest injuries.


 Miami, FL motorist Alvin Sims didn't notice that his truck had

 smacked into a utility pole and his passenger was dead until the

 police stopped his car.

 Donna Richardson, 29, was hanging her head out of the window of her

 boy friends 1993 Chevrolet truck early Saturday - she was vomiting -

 when the truck suddenly veered. Her head slammed a pole and she died

 instantly, police said Monday. Sims, 36. kept driving.

 Metro-Dade police said when an officer stopped the truck several

 miles later - its right mirror and antenna were damaged.  Sims told

 police that he was looking for a hospital because his passenger was


 "Apparently, he thought he hit a puddle and did not see that he had

 killed her."


 On February 3, 1990, a Renton (Seattle area) man tried to commit a

 robbery. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by his

 lack of a record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid 


   1. The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gunshop;

   2. The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial

 fraction of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed

 handguns in public places;

  3. To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked King County

 Police patrol car parked at the front door;

   4. An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having

 coffee before reporting to duty.

 Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and

 fired a few wild shots.

 The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the

 gene pool.

 Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one

 else was hurt.


 Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April in Minneapolis with

 third-degree murder in the death of his beloved cousin, Kenneth E.

 Richards. According to police, Derrick suggested a game of Russian

 roulette and put a semiautomatic pistol to Ken's head instead of a



 MOSCOW, RUSSIA -A drunk security man asked a colleague at the Moscow

 bank they were guarding to stab his bullet-proof vest to see if it

 protected him against the knife.....

 It didn't and the 25-year-old guard died of a heart wound.  Isn't it

 good to see the Russians getting into the spirit of the awards.


 Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit

 suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose around

 his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. He drank

 some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even tried to shoot

 himself at the last moment.

 He jumped and fired the pistol. The bullet missed him and cut through

 the rope above him. Free of the threat of hanging, he plunged into

 the sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the flames and made him

 vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman

 and was taken to hospital, where he died ... of exposure!!!

Submitted By: Anonymous
Nov 12, 1997 22:11

This joke is rated: PG