Pros And Cons Of Death

Everyone, at one time or another has thought about the good and the bad points of death. For some, they belive that their soul will go to a certain place, such as Heaven or Hell, others think that you just sit in the ground and get slowly devoired by various insects and bacteria. Well, if you see your death in the near future, here are some ideas to keep in mind just before you take your last breath . . . .

Pro: You never have to get up in the morning.
Con: You will never have another good night's sleep.

Pro: You will never have another 'bad f---'.
Con: You will never experence orgasm again!

Pro: You will never have to work another day for eternity.
Con: You will never have the oppertunity to spend the money you have made over your lifetime.

Con: You won't be able to get intoxicated again.
Pro: You will never have another hangover, nor forget what you did last night.
Con: You won't be able to kill or attack!
Pro: You won't be a victim of a violent, bloody, painful crime.

Con: No more picking on little a--holes.
Pro: Not getting in trouble for picking on little a--holes.

Pro: No more being sick or unhappy.
Con: Not being able to get out of things you don't want to do because you are sick or unhappy.

Con: No more Deth/Black Metal Music.
Pro: No more Duran-Duran, WHAM!, Bruce Springsteen, Madonna, Tina Turner, Twisted Sister, Cory Hart, and other s--- groups.

Pro: Not being worried about being caught for phreaking or hacking.
Con: Not being able to have the fun of being worried about it.

Pro: Not getting burned when you put your hand on the stove.
Con: Not being able to laugh at other people burning their hands on the stove.

Con: Not being able to cause general mayhem in your neighborhood.
Pro: Not spending the night in the tank.

Pro: No more fights with your girlfriend.
Con: No more meat when you want it.

Con: Not being able to throw rocks and other harmful objects off tall bulidings in the city.
Pro: Not getting hit by various objects falling from the sky.

Pro: Not having to get up from your comfortable lounge chair.
Con: Not being able to change the T.V. to see that porno flick that everyone is raving about.

Con: No more Bar-hopping in the city.
Pro: No more knife wounds in the chest.

Pro: No more losing on your favorite game at your local arcade.
Con: No more playing your favorite game at your local arcade.

Con: No more killer concerts, nor any tailgate parties.
Pro: No more wasted money on bad brew or stupid concerts.

Pro: No f---ing bitching mom to nag and pester you.
Con: there ain't one!

Con: No more smoking the ganja.
Pro: No more bad trips.

Pro: No more car insurance, and car to take care of.
Con: No more running over innocent pedrestians.

Con: Not being able to discharge a gun.
Pro: No more stay bullets that hit various neighbors working outdoors.

Pro: No more school.
Con: No more beautiful asses gallivantin down the hall.

Con: No more butts.
Pro: No more lung cancer.

Pro: Nobody tellin you what to do.
Con: Not being able to tell the boss to "kiss my f---in ass, im gone!!"

Con: Not being able to laugh at all the sick people.
Pro: Not being able to catch AIDS.

Con: No more beach.
Pro: No more getting cut up by f---in sea shells sticking up in the sand.

Pro: No more Mormans, Indians, and any other ethnic or religious group you espically hate.
Con: No more pestering, perterbing, bothering, threataning, terrorizing your least favorite group.

Con: No more 'Faces of Death' versions.
Pro: No more people complaining how gory, sick, and violent the movies were.

Pro: No more enemies
Con: No more friends.

Con: No more computer, modem, games......
Pro: No more telephone, disk, repair, or new hardware bills.

Pro: Not having to go christmas shopping.
Con: Not getting anything in return.

Con: No more sick jokes.
Pro: No more stupid jokes.

Pro: No more stupid inner city people.
Con: No more cool local people.

Con: No more tight Levis.
Pro: No more itchy balls.

Pro: No more zits.
Con: No more zits to pop on the mirror.

Con: No more sun.
Pro: No more sunburn.

Pro: No more stupid T.V. shows like Dallas, Punky Brewster, Face the Nation, 10 hour religious shows, Love Boat, and 1000's of others.
Con: No more cool shows like Miami Vice, Saturday night Live, Simon & Simon, the A-Team (sure), Mission Impossible, and a few others.

Con: No more sports (like football with your friends, etc.)
Pro: No more broken hands when someone steps on it with cleats.

Pro: No more pain.
Con: No more inflicting pain.

Con: No more ultimate estacy.
Pro: No more premature ejaculation.

Pro: No more 50 below zero winters.
Con: Not seeing people freeze to deth in the streets.

Con: No more snow.
Pro: No more getting chased by people because you just broke their picture window with an iceball (right chris, rich?)

Pro: No more butthole skatboarders.
Con: Not being able to clothesline em.

Con: No more trips to exotic, far away places.
Pro: No more long, irrelivent trips to nowhere.

Pro: No 1'st day of school.
Con: No last day of school.

Con: No more street fights.
Pro: Not getting caught in the middle of street fights.

Pro: Not having to hear the word 'commodore' again.
Con: Not hearing the word 'IBM'.

Con: No more 57 person conferences.
Pro: No more 57 person conferences getting cut-off right in the best part.

Pro: Not having to worry about your health.
Con: Not having your health to worry about.

Con: No more freinds across the country.
Pro: Not having to talk to the local losers.

Pro: No more Ronald Reagan.
Con: No president to rag on.

Con: No more shrimp, steak, lobster, Big Mac's, Chicken Mc nuggets, and other delicies to eat.
Pro: Not having to eat s--- food like at Burger King, and other scum joints.

Pro: Never worrying about what you can hit on the highway.
Con: Not being able to have other people worry about what you throw on the highway.

Con: No more wild parties.
Pro: No more beat parties.

Pro: Not having to dress up in a suit and tie.
Con: Not being able to wear your old levis and favorite shirt.

Con: No more going 105 down the road in the BMW.
Pro: No more wrapping it around a tree and getting killed (again).

Pro: Not going to your family picnic.
Con: No more free money from all your stupid rich bitch relitives.

Con: Not being able to hack into your local Electric company and causing general mayhem.
Pro: Not being able to be caught and thrown in jail.

Con: Not being able to crack new software and distribute it all over creation.
Pro: Not getting your name on the worst game put out this decade.

Pro: Not being able to smell any kind of s---.
Con: Not being able to smell pussy.

Con: Not painting your favoirte groups on a large white wall.
Pro: Not having to see others bad taste on the same wall.

Pro: No more stiffies in class looking at the hottest girl in school when she's bending over your desk with no bra on.
Con: Not being able to f--- that same girl after school.

Con: No more cool T-Net systems.
Pro: No more s--- net-works systems.

Pro: No more cleaning up your room.
Con: No more finding that $20 bill that you lost under all that s--- on the floor.

Con: Not being able to tell the Jhovah's Witnesseses to get the hell off your property when they come to try to tell you that they know what they are talking about.
Pro: Not having to listen to their bulls--- ethics.

Con: Not being able to inflict fear.
Pro: Not experencing fear.

Pro: No more school, books, and teachers dirty looks.
Con: No more girls, mags, and dirty books!

Con: Not being able to go out and pick berries and other fruits off the greenery outside.
Pro: Not wasting time taking s---'s or pisses.

Pro: No more brushing your teeth or worrying about cavities.
Con: No more teeth to pick the pussy hairs out of after you ate out a girl.

Con: You can't swim in a pool or the ocean ever again.
Pro: You can't get clorine or salt in your eyes again.

Pro: No more shocks when you stick your finger in the electric socket.
Con: No more power to play Megadeth, Mercyful Fate, Metallica, Venom, Slayer, or other black/deth metal bands at 140 db's.

Con: You can't go to your local nursing home and bother the old people.
Pro: You won't be around to get botherd by kids in a nursing home.

Pro: You won't be wondering your ass off about what stupid forigeners are saying.
Con: You can't give the stupid forigener wrong directions!

Submitted By: Anonymous

This joke is rated: PG
Tags: Misc list