Diary Of A Yeti Hunter

Hello, Ime Ded here.

Today begins an epic adventure to, not a lie, catch a yeti. We weren't sure how to start, but after airing an ad me and my friends numbered 58, and flew to New York to get ...appropriate yeti catching supplies...I have kept the rest of the journey in a log

Day 1
We took off from New York today, all 58 of us. After flying seemingly nowhere for 12 hours, we unanimously decided to start into the Andes today. We stopped at a store on the slopes to buy some mints. We rented a cabin near the resort, and plan to go skiing tomorrow. No sign of yetis yet, though we're hoping he might show on the "Y" slope.
Day 2
What a disappointment. No yeti yet. One of the members of the team broke a leg in a skiing accident. We shot him and left him for dead. I hope he's doing ok. We agreed to start hiking south, deeper in the mountains. We reached this decision after the hotel attendant attempted to kill us for not paying our fees. So we killed him. Unfortunately that caused a bit of unrest with the other owners of the hotel. Oh well, maybe they won't catch us on the way out.
Day 3
Only 7 of us died in trying to escape during the night. They died when we pushed them out the windows to provide a soft landing pad for the rest of us. What noble folk. I hope their souls hold no grudges. We made outstanding progress, nearly walking 1 mile. We decided to camp in a pleasant spot next to a big rock.
Day 4
Unfortunately we did not realize that the big rock was not exactly just a rock. In fact, it was a dleep-ugh mudbrugh, DUMB for short. We kill it and are using it as a sled and a shelter. Not too hard after 13 more of us died trying to kill it. I'm not worried since we still have 37 left. We made 900 meters today.
Day 5
Wow! What progress!! We slid down a very steep cliff until we crash deep into a chasm below. We made 1.5 miles!!! Unfortunately, 15 of us fell off the sled on the way down and.... Anyways, we are now resting in a deep dark part of a deep dark canyon.
Day 6
Well, there are only three of us left, so we assume. After yesterday's accident, leaving us only 22, we sent 19 off to explore the canyon, and 3 (including me) too protect the camp. We heard some weird mumbling sounds and roars, and some human screams too, and one of those 19's arms went flying by us. That lead us to assuming they had died. I hope we find that yeti soon!!!
Day 7
We are dismayed. We have decided to meditate and pray for the next week to ask for guidance.
Day 14
We received no answer. But we're not to be let down!!! We have decided to find out what exactly killed our friends. And so we go.
Day 15
I am the only one left. After we entered the chamber in which we heard the sounds we beheld...A yeti! As we cried with joy, the other two were eaten. Unfortunately I realized I did not have adaquete equipment to catch this yeti looming over my head. I hastily wet my pants, and retreated from the cave. The yeti ran at me and crashed its head on the top of his cave, killing him. My quest had been fulfilled.
Day ?
I'm rich now, and have taken credit for catching the yeti. I have been published in every magazine I can think of, wit titles such as "Valiant Ime avenges friends by killing mysterious yeti" This is Ime Ded, signing out

Submitted By: Fred Davis
May 5, 1997 17:37

This joke is rated: PG