"I'd like a shot of whiskey," he tells the bartender, "and I'd like to buy a drink for that douchebag at the end of the bar."

"Sir," replied the bartender, "you can't go around talking about womwn like that. Would you care to rephrase your request?"

"OK," replied the guy, "I'll have a shot of whiskey, and I'd like to buy that *nice, young lady* at the end of the bar a drink."

"That's better," replied the bartender, who pours the shot, and then goes to the other end of the bar. "Excuse me, ma'am, but the gentleman at the other end of the bar has purchased a drink for you. What would you like?"

"A vinegar and water"