How To Draw Attention To Yourself
- Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
- Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.
- At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
- Two words: Chicken suit.
- Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
- Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
- Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
- Stop at the green lights.
- Go at the red ones.
- Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
- Eat food that requires silverware.
- Pass cars, then drive very slowly.
- Sing without having the radio on.
- Honk frequently without motivation.
- Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.
- Ask people for Grey Poupon.
- Let pedestrians know who's boss.
- Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
- Restart your car at every stop light.
- Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.
- Have at least 5 cats in your car.
Submitted By: Anonymous
Jan 27, 1998 18:28
This joke is rated: G