How Peas Will Kill You

  • Nearly ALL sick people have eaten PEAS (obviously then, the effects are cumulative).
  • An estimated 99.9% of all people who die from cancer or heart attacks have eaten PEAS.
  • Another 99.9% of people involved in auto accidents ate PEAS within 60-days before the accident.
  • Some 93.1% of juvenile delinquents come from homes where PEAS were served frequently.
  • Among people born in 1839 who later dined on PEAS, there has been a 100% mortality rate.
  • All PEA-eaters born between 1900-1910 have wrinkled skin, have lost most of their teeth, have brittle bones and failing eyesight (provided, of course, that eating PEAS hasn't already *killed* them).

Submitted By: Louise Newey
Jun 10, 1997 17:31

This joke is rated: PG
Tags: Advice list