How To Liven Your Day
- Secretly replace the baby's formula with Folger's Crystals.
- Get a couple of old refrigerator boxes and paint them up to look like a toll booth. Set it up on your favorite street corner and watch the quarters roll in.
- Make yourself up like you've been in a horrible, mutilating accident, then go to the emergency room of the nearest hospital. When approached by a nurse or doctor, say, "No, thank-you, I'm just browsing."
- Call the Microsoft Support Line and insist on speaking directly to Bill Gates. Tell them that MS-DOS was your idea and you demand royalties. Demand Bill's home phone number. Get verbally abusive when they refuse you.
- Two words: Cherry Bomb.
- Make two dinner revservations at the finest restaurant you can find, then dress yourself and a goat in tuxedos. When the Management refuses you service, insist that the animal is a seeing-eye goat. For added effect, feed the goat a few boxes of EX-LAX before you arrive.
- Join the Ku Klux Klan and when you find out where the next cross-burning will be held, invite 70-80 of your best, biggest and strongest African-American friends. Have them remove their sheets at a predetermined moment.
- Order a pizza and tell them to "hold" the crust.
- Tape computer boards and cards all over your body and walk around the streets screaming, "I'M STEVE AUSTIN, THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN!!!"
- Crochet' a doiley!
Submitted By: Anonymous
Dec 17, 1997 16:50
This joke is rated: PG