MSIE Virus


Dear Internet user,

It seems that the destructive minds who like to invent computer viruses have struck again. A new virus, popularly known as INTERNET EXPLORER 4.0, has been propagating the Net for several weeks now. MILLIONS of computers have been infected by this insidious virus (mostly PCs, and a few Macintoshes as well.) This virus is one of the MOST DANGEROUS yet unleashed on the computing public!

INTERNET EXPLORER 4.0 is known to have the following horrible effects on infected computers:

  • It WASTES an incredible amount of HARD DISK SPACE, space which could otherwise be used for productive applications
  • It causes the infected computer's performance to be DRASTICALLY REDUCED--Pentium machines which are stricken are known to slow down to the speed of a 486
  • It surreptitiously MODIFIES the underlying operating system, causing the CORE FUNCTIONALITY of the instrument to change RADICALLY
  • It, through the use of Trojan-like ALTERATIONS to the core Java APIs, may cause Java applets to MALFUNCTION. These effects are so SEVERE that the designers of Java, Sun Microsystems, are taking LEGAL ACTION against the inventors of this terrible virus
  • It, once installed, is VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE for the average user to remove from the system
  • It is known to create SECURITY HOLES, which can allow unknown users to DELETE or DESTROY files on your hard drive
  • It is known to cause many popular and reliable Internet browsers, such as NETSCAPE NAVIGATOR and NETSCAPE COMMUNICATOR, to not function correctly
  • It is even known to infect NEWLY PURCHASED computers coming from reputable manufacturers like COMPAQ and DELL. These companies have so far been POWERLESS to prevent this virus from being installed on the computers they sell.
  • It is known to be UNDETECTABLE by most virus-checking software packages

The good news is that the JUSTICE DEPARTMENT is currently investigating the rogue hackers who CONCOCTED this destructive virus. They have been traced to a Seattle suburb, and may face fines of ONE MILLION DOLLARS PER DAY for the pernicious manner in which this virus is being distributed. The bad news is that millions of computers have ALREADY BEEN INFECTED. The inventors of this virus even have the gall to gleefully BOAST about this terrible fact on their web site!

Here's what YOU can do:

  1. If you see a website with the "Internet Explorer" logo, do **NOT** click on the logo. This can cause this virus to be DOWNLOADED and INSTALLED on your system!
  2. If your computer is ALREADY INFECTED, and it's a Windows-based PC, call the technical support hotline at Microsoft (the company which wrote Windows), and ask them for instructions on how to DISABLE and REMOVE this virus. They should have instructions to do so.
I apologize for the URGENT TONE of this message, but only if we WORK TOGETHER can the spread of the dreaded INTERNET EXPLORER 4.0 virus be slowed or stopped.

Submitted By: Andrew Ward
Nov 12, 1997 22:01

This joke is rated: PG