Men Are Like . . .

    Men Are Like . . .
  • Place mats.
    They only show up when there's food on the table.
  • Mascara.
    They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
  • Bike helmets.
    Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
  • Government bonds.
    They take so long to mature.
  • Parking spots.
    The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.
  • Copiers.
    You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
  • Lava lamps.
    Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
  • Bank accounts.
    Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
  • High heels.
    They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
  • Curling irons.
    They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.
  • Mini skirts.
    If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.
  • Bananas.
    The older they get, the less firm they are.
  • Department Stores
    Their clothes should always be half off.
  • Vacations
    They never seem to be long enough.
  • Computers
    Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
  • Coolers
    Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere
  • Chocolate bars
    Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
  • Coffee
    Tthe best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.(Mmmmmm Coffee!)
  • Horoscopes
    They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
  • Plungers
    They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.
  • Cement
    After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard. (OUCH!!!!)
  • Laxatives.
    They irritate the s--- out of you
  • Parking spots.
    The good ones are already taken (AMEN)
  • Snowstorms.
    You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last
  • Linolium floors.
    Lay him right the 1st time and you can walk all over him for years.

Submitted By: Anonymous
Apr 15, 1999 14:03

This joke is rated: PG