You Might Be An Engineer If . . .

  1. The only jokes you receive are through e-mail
  2. At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
  3. Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma
  4. Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room
  5. In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure
  6. The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
  7. You are always late to meetings
  8. You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling
  9. You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday
  10. You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
  11. You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
  12. You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.
  13. You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.
  14. You forgot to get a haircut ... for 6 months
  15. You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects
  16. You have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area
  17. You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
  18. You have more friends on the Internet than in real life
  19. You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married
  20. You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
  21. You know what http:// actually stands for
  22. You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
  23. You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
  24. You see a good design and still have to change it
  25. You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring
  26. You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
  27. You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep
  28. You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa)
  29. You window shop at Radio Shack
  30. You're in the back seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite
  31. You know what the geosynchronous satellite function is
  32. Your checkbook always balances
  33. Your laptop computer costs more than your car
  34. Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work
  35. Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300Mhz Pentium
  36. You've already calculated how much you make per second
  37. You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio

Submitted By: Anonymous
Sep 2, 1999 16:28

This joke is rated: G