A Mother's Dictionary
A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.
An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am too.
What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let de children play outside.
How teething babies wash their chins.
One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
What you call your child when you're mad at him.
The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
When your life was still somewhat your own.
A contradiction in terms.
A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
A child who is more talented than yours.
What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it
The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Able to whine in words.
The kind you have after the kids have worn you out.
None of the kids that live in your house.
An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."
May 14, 1998 13:37
This joke is rated: G
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