If Airlines Ran On Operating Systems . . .
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MS-DOS Airline
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Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and
let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push
again jump on again, and so on.
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MS-DOS with QEMM Airline
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The same but with more legroom to push.
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MacIntosh Airline
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All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and
ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every
time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to
know, don't want to know, and that everything will be done for you,
so just shut up.
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OS/2 Airline
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To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times
by standing in ten different lines. Then you fill our a form showing
where you want to sit and whether the plane should look and feel
like an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you succeed in
getting on the plane and the plane succeeds in taking off the
ground, you have a wonderful trip...except for the time when the
rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you will just
have time to say your prayers and get in crash position.
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Windows Airline
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The airport terminal is nice and colorful, with friendly stewards
and stewardesses, easy access to the plane, and a completely
uneventful takeoff...then, once in the air the plane blows up
without any warning whatsoever.
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Windows NT Airline
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Everyone marches out onto the runway, says the password in unison,
and forms the outline of a plane. Then they all sit down and make a
whooshing sound like they are flying.
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Unix Airline
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Everyone brings a piece of the plane with them when they come to the
airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together
piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they are
building.
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Newton Airline
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After buying your ticket 18 months in advance, you finally get to
board the plane. Upon boarding the plane you are asked your name.
After 46 times, the crew member recognizes your name and then you
are allowed to take your seat. As you are getting ready to take your
seat, the steward announces that you have to repeat the boarding
process because they are out of room and need to recount to make
sure they can take more passengers.