You Know You've Been Out Of College Too Long When . . . .

  • Your potted plants stay alive..
  • Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
  • You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
  • 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
  • You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
  • You carry an umbrella.
  • You watch the Weather Channel.
  • Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
  • You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
  • Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up'
  • You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next don't know how to turn down the stereo.
  • Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
  • You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
  • Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
  • You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.
  • Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
  • You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
  • Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
  • MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
  • You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
  • A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.
  • You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
  • Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet pepsi & Ho-ho's
  • 'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going to drink that much again'
  • Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
  • You don't get liquored up at home, to save money, before going to a bar.

Submitted By: Anonymous
Mar 17, 1999 13:32

This joke is rated: PG