Parents' Glossary
- Attitude:
- What anyone who can solve your child's problems has.
- Barbie Doll:
- (If you have a girl) Unrealistic expectations.
(If you have a boy) A gun.
- Dumbwaiter:
- One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
- Feedback:
- The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
- Full Name:
- What you call your child when you're mad at him.
- Grandparents:
- The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
- Godsend:
- Any individual or group who offers to babysit for free!
- Hearsay:
- What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
- Independent:
- How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
- Ow:
- The first word spoken by children with older siblings (followed closely by "mine!")
- Puddle:
- A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
- Show Off:
- A child who is more talented than yours.
- Sterlize:
- What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.
- Top Bunk:
- Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
- Two-Minute Warning:
- When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
- Verbal:
- Able to whine in words
- Whodunit:
- None of the kids that live in your house
Submitted By: Anonymous
Aug 5, 1999 08:22