Got a fine for coke can vandalism,
In Grocery Right
I'd pick up a coke, and yank off the tab
But the can would stay sealed up tight
I told the judge I was framed,
I pleaded insane, and clepto too
He took one look at me, said sarcastically,
"Huh, me easy on you?"
Fines, fines, always getting fined
Tickets for parking, for standing in lines
Can't smoke, piss, or sleep
Always paying fines

Got a fine for not paying income taxes . . .
By the deadline
Said I was sorry, I got no more cash, Hey!
Maybe next time
He asked me why I didn't pay
Said he'd take all that I got
I just stood ther and looked him in the eye
And I just said, "I forgot!"


It's bogus, man; life ain't cheap
If you don't have a wallet, you're living in the streets
You can't park here
You can't speed
You ain't supposed to fish here

Got a fine for going backwards through the drive-thru at Burger King


Got a fine for speeding in my hometown
90 in a fifteen zone
Cop pulled me over and walked around to my car
We were the only ones on the road
Then he gave me a slip of paper
And he told me to pay the damn fine
I tore it up and threw it at his feet
Now I'm in jail, doin' time


Submitted By: Mike Biancaniello
Jun 04, 1991

This joke is rated: PG