Peeing The Slopes

A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah where the conditions were perfect - 12 below; no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over, and a "tell me when we're having fun" kind of day.

One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a rest room. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away.

With time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since she was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off into the woods. No-one would even notice, he assured her. The white would provide more than adequate camouflage. So she headed for the tree line and proceeded to do her thing.

If you ever parked on the side of a slipe, then you know there is a right way, and awrong way to "set" your skis so you don't move. Yup, you got it! She had them positioned wrong. Steep slopes are not forgiving, even during embarrassing moments. Without warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out of control, racing through the trees, somehow missing them all, and onto another slope. Her ski pants were still down around her knees, and she was picking up speed all the while. She continued on backward, totally out of control, creating an unusual vista for other skiers.

The woman skied, if you define the term loosely, back under the lift, and finally collided violently with a pylon. The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants. At long last, her husband arrived, put an end to her embarrassment, then went to the base of the mountain and summoned the ski patrol, who transported her to the hospital.

In the emergency room she was regrouping, when a man with an obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to hers. "So, how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk.
"It was the darndest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up the ski lift, and suddenly I couldn't believe my eyes. There was this crazy woman skiing backwards, out of control down the mountain with her bare bottom hanging out of her clother and her pants down around her knees. I leaned over to get a bett er look, and I guess I didn't realize how far I'd moved. I fell out of the ski lift. --So, how'd you break your arm?"

Submitted By: Melissa Moran
Jun 25, 1997 18:06

This joke is rated: PG
Tags: Misc