Pumpkin Sex

Police arrested Jon Terrence McCarter, a 27 year old white male, resident of Dixon, IL, in the Sanderson Pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. McCarter will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.

McCarter went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out an pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need". "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, McCarter apparently failed to notice the Dixon Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure." said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (McCarter) and he's... just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached McCarter. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised as you'd expect and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Damn... is it midnight already?'" Taylor arrested him but said that the suspect accepted his predicament in good humor. "I have to give him credit... that was a quick comeback." Taylor said of the man's comment. Taylor summed up the event with one statement. "Seven years I've been patrolling this area; this was a first."

Submitted By: Anonymous
Jun 25, 1998 16:36

This joke is rated: R