Quinn's Devious Dictionary

Here are definitions of language that are found among the over 5,000 definitions in Quinn's Devious Dictionary.
n. [1] the lack of clarity in speech -- or, perhaps,something else; [2] the language of politics and statesmanship
n. [1] the only place where: (a) divorce comes beforemarriage, and (b) success comes before work; [2] a malevolent literarydevice for cramping the growth of language and making it hard andinelastic. This dictionary, however, is a more useful work {AmbroseBierce - The Devil's Dictionary}
n. [1] a feat, after the invention of language, which isman's proudest achievement
n. [1] the language spoken by ancient Italians
n. [1] is actually "what did you say?" in the language ofthe Australian natives. {Captain Cook's mistake}
n. [1] a language that the dumb can speak and the deaf canhear
n. [1] the most important form of intercourse practiced byman -- next to sex; [2] a system which was developed to allow humanityto complain without killing or maiming.
n. [1] a talented fellow who has mastered the ability tomake mistakes in more than one language; [2] a person who can bemisunderstood in many languages
n. [1] the most slippery word in the human language -- used byknaves to seduce, by fools for comfort, and by most men to placate thefemale of the species
n. [1] a government language where you can understandthe words, but not the sentences
n. [1] a system of labeling and redefining our language toallow us to rescue the absurd
n. [1] an individual so in love with language who can, for thesake of art, survive any hardship -- except a misprint
n. [1] the language of the unheard
n. [1] to lie about someone -- or tell the truth
n. [1] a language that takes off its coat, spits on its hands,and goes to work; [2] the one stream of poetry which is continuallyflowing outward
n. [1] a good old American substitute for the facts; [2] ourmodern commercial replacement for quality; [3] a politician's banner,often changed, but always held high above the voters brains
n. [1] a learned person who can name a horse in ninelangu- ages and buys a cow to ride
n. [1] a tongue that never takes its tongue out of its cheek;[2] the rich traditional language of organized complaint

By Lee Daniel QuinnAny corrections or additions, contact Lee Daniel Quinn atwords@iop.com

Submitted By: Lee Daniel Quinn
Apr 7, 1998 13:33

This joke is rated: PG
Tags: Misc list