You Might Be a Redneck Jedi If . . .

  • Your Jedi robe is a Camouflage color.
  • You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.
  • You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.
  • At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
  • There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
  • You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
  • You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
  • You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
  • You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
  • You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
  • You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
  • The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
  • Wookies are offended by your B.O.
  • You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
  • You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
  • You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
  • Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark'll be a hoot."
  • You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.

Submitted By: Brooke Patterson
Apr 4, 1997 09:00

This joke is rated: PG