IT WAS IN THE TOILET 
                         IT WAS NOT OF THIS EARTH 
                         MAYBE SOME ALIEN 
                         HAD JUST GIVEN BIRTH 
                         IT'S A BIG MYSTERY 
                         HOW IT GOT IN THERE 
                         IT WAS BLACK AND FERMENTED 
                         AND GROWING HAIR 
                         I TRIED TO FLUSH IT 
                         BUT THERE WAS NO WAY IN HELL 
                         IT WAS BIGGER THAN A BREADBOX 
                         AND BOY, DID IT SMELL 
                         IT MADE A STRANGE NOISE 
                         A GURGLING SOUND 
                         I LOOKED FOR THE PLUNGER 
                         IT COULD NOT BE FOUND 
                         SO I PUT ON SOME GLOVES 
                         AND GRABBED IT REAL QUICK 
                         I WAS VERY ANNOYED 
                         NOT TO MENTION, VERY SICK 
                         THE ENDING IS GORY 
                         AND I JUST HAVE TO SAY 
                         I LEARNED MY LESSON 
                         ON THIS MISERABLE DAY 
                         I SHOOK IT AND SHOOK IT 
                         UNTIL IT EXPLODED INTO BITS 
                         NEVER HAVE GRANDPA OVER 
                         WHEN HE HAS THE s---S!