Signs You've Had Too Much To Drink
- You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping -- with your Oldsmobile.
- Although armed with fire extinguishers, friends stood at a safe distance as you blew out your birthday candles.
- Thanks to you, Jack Daniels stock is up 15 1/4 since Friday.
- Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Stoli.
- For some reason, there's salt on the rim of your basketball goal.
- Your name is Otis and Sheriff Andy has brought you some of Aunt Bea's pancakes.
- For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you could've bought the *car*.
- You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim": Ultra Slim-Fast shakes made with Jim Beam.
- Answering machine full of warnings from Coach Switzer.
- Absolut wants to run an add featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a bottle.
- Yet again, dry cleaner employees greet you with, "Hey, it's VomitMan!"
- The doorman asks for you I.D. just to see how long it'll take you to find your pants.
- Your liver, in a fit of pique, leaps out of your abdominal cavity into a pan of frying onions.
- Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the goat.
- You're now sober enough to realize "Drink Canada Dry" is a slogan and not a personal challenge.
Submitted By: Anonymous
Feb 6, 1998 07:28
This joke is rated: PG