Things Southerners Won't Say

  • We don't keep firearms in this house.
  • Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?
  • You can't feed that to the dog.
  • I thought Graceland was tacky.
  • No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
  • Wrasslin's fake.
  • Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
  • We're vegetarians.
  • Do you think my hair is too big?
  • I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
  • Honey, these bonsai trees need watering?
  • Who's Richard Petty?
  • Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
  • Deer heads detract from the decor.
  • Spitting is such a nasty habit.
  • I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
  • Trim the fat off that steak.
  • Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
  • The tires on that truck are too big.
  • I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
  • I've got it all on a floppy disk.
  • Unsweetened tea tastes better.
  • Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
  • My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
  • I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
  • Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
  • Checkmate.
  • She's too old to be wearing that bikini.
  • Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
  • Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
  • I don't have a favorite college team.
  • I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
  • Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
  • Elvis who?
  • Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

Submitted By: Anonymous
Feb 23, 1998 17:46

This joke is rated: PG