Surprises In The Stones Tour
- Keith's face now on National Register of Historic Places.
- Unable to escape the ravages of time, Mick's formerly full
and pouty lips now hanging to his knees.
- Reduced box office take due to frequent use of AARP discount
- Hell's Angels hired to circulate crowd and "entice" people
to switch from AT&T to Sprint.
- Old smell: booze with a hint of pot.
New smell: Polygrip with a hint of Ben Gay.
- Slightly senile musicians toss in an occasional Beatles song.
- Tour bus drives at 25 miles an hour with left blinker
- There's a distinct resemblance between Keith and that
"Weekend at Bernie's" guy.
- "Unplugged" section of concert consists of band members in
rocking chairs reminiscing about the good old days.
- Mic stands now double as IV holders.
- During show opener "Start Me Up," Mick fires up Keith's
- Famous "enlarged lips" logo replaced by "enlarged prostate"
- Those drops of perspiration on Keith#s brow? Embalming fluid.
- New song: "You Can't Always Eat What You Want."
- On a monster video screen, Mick plays "connect the dots" with
the needle marks on Keith's arms.
- Lump in back of Mick's pants noticeably larger than lump in
front of Mick's pants.
Submitted By: Mike Haddad
Sep 14, 1997 13:36
This joke is rated: G