You Can't Take It With You

A rich old miser lay on his death bed. Knowing his passing was inevitable, he summoned his three closest confidants: his doctor, his priest, and his attorney.

He told them, "I know I'm about to die, and I know they say 'You can't take it with you,' but, by God, I'm going to try. I have cashed in all of my fortune and had it stuffed into these three large money bags. Each of you shall take one bag. At my funeral, I've left instructions with the cemetery people to stop lowering my casket when it's half way into the grave.

"They will open the top of the casket, and each of you shall throw in the bags of money. The casket will close, and I'll be buried with my entire fortune. Even if I can't spend it, I will have at least taken it with me!"

The three men consented to this arrangement and signed contracts to that effect. Soon, the old man did pass away, and at his funeral, just as he said, the coffin was opened half way into the grave. The doctor, priest, and lawyer each tossed in their bags. The coffin closed, was lowered the rest of the way, and was buried.

Some weeks later the three men had occasion to meet each other again at a social event.
The priest spoke first. "Gentlemen," he said, "I've not had a decent night's sleep since our old friend died. I have a terrible confession. I didn't throw in all of the money...I kept some for myself. But I felt so awful about it, I gave it all to charity last week. I hope, now that I have confessed this to you, that God will forgive me and I may be able to sleep again."
The doctor then confessed to keeping some of the money. He said, "I cannot sleep either. I, too, have donated what I kept to help indigent people with serious illness, but I'm so glad we had the chance to talk. Now, maybe I, too, can have some peace."

The doctor and the priest looked toward the attorney who said, "Don't look at me! I threw in a check for the entire amount!"

Submitted By: Dawn Eisert
Feb 18, 1997 12:48

This joke is rated: G