Man: Hello. How nice of you to stop by. I will be off the pot in a second.
Man: Hello there again. You have caught me in the middle of something I can not interrupt. Just a few more minutes and I should be done.
Man: I seem to be having technical difficulties. You may want to look out the window and ignore the next few minutes, because I suspect I will be making a lot of weird noises.
Man: YAYAYAYAYAYAYA! WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA! GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO! CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA! Here it comes....here it comes....here it comes...HERE IT COMES!!!!! HERE COMES THE JUDGE!!!!! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!
Man: Ahhhhhh. Now I feel soooooo good. You know, I had to buy this building and knock out all of the aisles and have this toilet built in the middle especially for me. You see, I really enjoy a good movement, and I found that most others are disgusted by the sounds I make during the movement. So I needed the space as a sound buffer. But this is the part I really like...I call it the afterglow. I feel so agreeable.
Man: Sometimes I can sit on the toilet for a good half hour after such a fulfilling movement. Or should I say emptying! Har har har! I once had a wife who could NOT understand how I could sit in a room right after I had had a bowel movement. I tried to explain to her how good I felt but she never understood. One time I locked her in the bathroom RIGHT after I had exploded in there, hoping she could then understand my enjoyment. But she had a closed mind about it, and shortly afterwards she left me.
Man: Well, my friend, I am glad you stopped by to see what I do here. I am about to apply the toilet paper to my butt. This part is not really anything special. Oh yes, sometimes there are some interesting colors involved, but for the most part, it is mundane. A lot of people tell me this is their favorite part of the bathroom experience, the wiping, but not me. Nope, I love the sheer exhiliration of when you are pushing and pushing and suddenly you hear that plopping sound and you know you are making progress!
Man: I do not mean to be rude, but I think you ought to leave now. I did not mind you watching my bowel movement, but now it is time to wipe, and that means I will have to stand up without underwear, and I do not think you should see my private parts. So if you will excuse me, I will wipe now. Oh, before you leave, here is an interesting fact. Did you know that the Germans have 195 different words for bowel movement?
Submitted By: Anonymous