Cooper figured he had nothing to lose. So he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the Wylie Drug Store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noises and the various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
"You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water.
Avoid heavy labor.
It will be better in two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change the medical field forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the Wylie Drug Store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis:
"Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener.
Your dog has worms.
Give him vitamins.
Your daughter's using cocaine.
Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife's pregnant with twin girls.
They're not yours.
Get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better."
Submitted By: Anonymous
Jul 1, 1998 12:27