This is being sent to you for we know that you are critically interested in your lawn. This is a fertilizer club, it will not cost you a cent to join.

Upon receipt of this letter, go to the first house on the top of the list and poop on the lawn. You will not be the only one there so don't be embarrassed.

Then make five (5) copies of this letter, leaving out the first name on the list and adding your own to the bottom. Send these five copies to five of your friends who appreciate a good lawn. You will not get any money or checks. But within one week if this chain is not broken, there will be 9,125 pooping on your lawn.

Your reward will come next summer when your lawn will be the greenest lawn in the neighborhood.

Mrs. Harry Butt
236 Corn Cob Lane

Mrs. Lucy Bowels
29 Bedpan Lane

Mrs. Smel E. B. Hind
234 Dia Rea Way

Mrs. C Howie Pharts
276 Fertilizer Parkway

Mr Orval Crap
346 Enema Dr

Mr. C. Bigger Movements
U 2 Rectum Road

Mrs. Took A Leak
765 Running Loose Lane

Very Truly Yours,
Your Friendly Neighbor

P.S. If you are constipated pass this along to your neighbor. Do not break this chain. One man didn't give a poop and he lost his entire lawn. Don't let this happen to you!