Things Me Will Never Say

  1. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherf---er.
  2. No I don't want another beer. I have to work tomorrow.
  3. Her t-ts are just too big. [CRD]
  4. Sometimes I just want to be held.
  5. That chick on "20/20" gives me a woody.
  6. Sure! I'd love to wear a condom.
  7. We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse. [M,K: "I know what women like."]
  8. Screw Monday Night Football, let's watch "Ally McBeal".
  9. It's late. Put your clothes back on and I'll take you home.
  10. Honey, I'm going to the store, do you need more tampons???
  11. I know you just blew me, but I need a kiss.
  12. I'm sick of beer, give me a fruit juice with a lemon twist.
  13. Great, your mother's coming to stay with us again!
  14. I wonder if my gorgeous neighbor knows that her drapes are open when she's getting ready for bed?. Maybe I should tell her.
  15. No way, you weeded the garden last week. It's my turn.
  16. Better get rid of these old Penthouse magazines. I don't look at them any more.
  17. I understand.
  18. This movie has way too much nudity.
  19. Damn, we're late for church!
  20. No! I don't want to see your sister's t-ts.
  21. Damn these onions, pass me a tissue.
  22. Put some panties on for Christ's sake.
  23. Eat something!! You are starting to look like a Victoria's Secret Model!!
  24. Don't pick that up, I got it.
  25. Happy Anniversary!!!
  26. Hey, isn't today your mothers birthday??
  27. Let's talk, I miss talking.
  28. Gay men have rights too!
  29. I am just too tired to have sex again today!
  30. Are you losing weight, sweetie??

Submitted By: Jenn Sarajian
Feb 9, 2000 07:55

This joke is rated: PG