Things That Take Years To Learn
- The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
- You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
- The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
- There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
- People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
- If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
- The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
- You should not confuse your career with your life.
- A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.
- When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
Submitted By: Anonymous
Aug 23, 2000 09:13
This joke is rated: PG