The Olympic Torch Itinerary

3:15
Torch arrives at U.S. Capitol
3:30
Torch leaves U.S. Capitol, carried by Bob Dole
5:00
One block later, Bob Dole hands off torch
5:15
Torch enters Northeast Washington
5:16
First recorded case of "Torch-jacking"occurs
6:00
After massive search, Torch is found in a local pawn shop and repurchased for $25
6:15
Torch arrives at city hall. Crowd is dismayed when Marion Barry uses it to light his crack pipe.
6:20
Barry is further embarrassed when he is stopped trying to take the torch to the country for "spiritual renewal".
6:30
Torch heads into Northwest Washington
6:35
Torch runner falls into D.C. pothole
6:40
Torch is recovered (runner is never found).
6:50
Torch arrives at Dupont Circle. Residents are proud to have such a high profile "flame" in their area.
7:00
Torch runner attempts to hand off flame to NBA star Juwan Howard.
7:01
David Falk stops the transaction, demanding $90 million over tow years for HowardÂ’s effort.
7:21
Torch arrives at White House.
7:22
FBI files on Torch arrives at White House.
7:23
Hillary fires Torch, citing "gross mismanagement and bad record keeping".
7:30
Torch leaves White House, heads across the Mall.
7:32
Torch runner is knocked unconscious by long pop-fly his by "With Ourselves" star, John Mechem
7:35
Torch is handed to Republican Presidential candidate, Pat Buchanan.
7:36
Series of mysterious fires at black churches begins along Torch rout.
8:00
Torch heads for Virginia
8:15
Crossing the 14th Street Bridge, Torch is accidentally dropped into Potomac -- Entire surface of river immediately ignites.
8:45
After being recovered by ValuJet divers, Torch enters Virginia. Upon crossing state line, runner is immediately assessed personal property tax on torch.
8:47
Runner attempts to hand torch to Virginia Senator John Warner. Warner refuses, saying he cannot, in good conscience, support this torch.
9:00
Torch is retired for the evening. USOC vows never to set foot in the D.C. area again.



Submitted By: Anonymous

This joke is rated: PG
Tags: Misc written