USAF Aircraft Problems

These are alledged to be some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews:
  • Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
    Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."
  • Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
    Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
  • Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
    Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
    Problem #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."
  • Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
    Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."
  • Problem: "Something loose in c---pit."
    Solution: "Something tightened in c---pit."
  • Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
    Solution: "Evidence removed."
  • Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
    Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."
  • Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
    Solution: "Live bugs on order."
  • Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
    Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."
  • Problem: "IFF inoperative."
    Solution: "IFF always inoperative in OFF mode."
  • Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
    Solution: "That's what they're there for."
  • Problem: "Number three engine missing."
    Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

Submitted By: Best of: Humor Mailing List
Oct 23, 1998 11:45

This joke is rated: G