• O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS: You know it trashed your system, but you just can't prove it.
  • LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS: Turns your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy.
  • BILL CLINTON VIRUS: Does whatever the other viruses are doing.
  • BOB DOLE VIRUS: Tries to act virulent.
  • NEWT GINGRICH VIRUS: Only trying to optimize the system, honest.
  • ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Small, powerful and very badly wants to run the whole computer.
  • DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Just another virus.
  • COLIN POWELL VIRUS: Used to be an application. Now refuses to do anything.
  • GORBACHEV VIRUS: Breaks up your computer system into its individual components.
  • JIMMY CARTER VIRUS: Now completely harmless.
  • WOODY ALLEN VIRUS: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
  • TONYA HARDING VIRUS: Turns your .bat files into lethal weapons.
  • PAUL REVERE VIRUS: Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:/.
  • GALLUP VIRUS: Infects a tiny piece of your computer, but believes its results are equivalent to infecting your entire computer.
  • CIGARETTE LOBBY VIRUS: Can prove to you that it's completely harmless.
  • PEPSI VIRUS: Not quite as good as that other virus.
  • MARLON BRANDO VIRUS: Has had little success in multiplying, but keeps getting bigger and bigger.
  • ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple bytes out of your Apple.
  • CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: Only does anything while you're watching it on the monitor.
  • AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in Seattle, but your data is in Singapore.
  • THE MEDIA VIRUS: Does nothing but pick on the other viruses.
  • BILL GATES VIRUS: Probably wrote all the other viruses, to suit its own needs.
  • GERALD FORD VIRUS: A totally lovable virus that keeps bumping its head.
  • JOHN F. KENNEDY VIRUS: Was wiped out by the system. I just know it.
  • PBS VIRUS: Best quality virus, but no one pays any attention to it.
  • CIA VIRUS: Doesn't exist. Whoops, it does? Now its the NSA virus.Hmmmm, you found the NSA virus? Suddenly it's the (name withheld) virus.
  • POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Not a virus; an electronic micro-organism that has every right to exist.
  • OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files.
  • JOEY BUTTAFUACO VIRUS: Only attacks minor files.
  • MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS: Preys on child processes.
  • JANE FONDA VIRUS: Attacks your hard drives FAT.
  • OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: First it's a big file, then a small file, then a big file, ...
  • IRS VIRUS: Impounds your computer before you can finish.

Submitted By: Anonymous
Jan 20, 1998 19:33

This joke is rated: G