How To Keep Things Wacky At Work
- Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people
you're waiting for your document.
- Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time
for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the
meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.
- Insist that your e-mail address be
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want
fries with that.
- Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate
about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a
co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
- Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
- Name all your pens and insist that meetings can't begin until
they're all present.
- Come to work in your pajamas.
- Put a picture of your mother on your business card.
- Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective
if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
- Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by
these names. "That's a good point Sparky." "No, I'm sorry I'm going to
have to disagree with you there, Chachi." "Hey Bucko, are we meeting
- Suggest that beer be put in the soda machine.
- Include a piece of your children's artwork as a cover page for all
reports that you write. (If you don't have children, draw stick figures
- Schedule meetings for 4:14 pm. or 2:37pm, or 10:16am
- Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized
- Agree to organize the company Christmas party. Hold it at
McDonald's Playland. Charge everyone $15 each.
- Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're
doing. For example "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom."
- No matter what anyone asks you, reply "Okay."
- Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."
- Plant a hedge around your cubicle.
- Grow mold in your coffee cup.
- Build models of the Seven Wonders of the World using empty soda
- Put your headphones on whenever the boss comes into the office.
Talk in a loud voice. Remove your headphones when s/he leaves.
- When in conversation, no matter where you are in the office,
mutter, "I think my phone is ringing" and leave. Go get a coffee.
- Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many."
- Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
- Compose all your e-mail in rhyming couplets.
- Install a set of buttons and lights in the arm of your chair. Talk
into your daytimer.
- "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes
since you did this.
- Organize a carpool. Go to pick everyone up in a taxi.
- Email nude gifs (graphic image files) of yourself to your
coworkers. Tell them you got them off the Internet.
- Hang mistletoe over your desk.
- Include a personal note on every email you send. "On a personal
note, I'm feeling a bit tired and grumpy today." or "On a personal note, I'm
pleased to announce that I got my highest score ever on Asteroids last
- Bring in dishes that you tried to cook but didn't turn out quite
right as special treats for your co-workers.
- While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive".
- Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
- Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny
Try to pass them off as your own children.
- Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... in the
lunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean back,
pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
- See how long it takes until the last person stops believing you.
Then start planting pizzas.
- Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- When you go to a party at somebody's house, don't automatically
assume that the drinks are free. Ask, and ask often.
Submitted By: Ban Daddy
Mar 18, 1997 19:54
This joke is rated: PG