Ways For Personal Growth
- As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.
- I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
- I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.
- I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.
- In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
- Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.
- My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.
- I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.
- Joan of Arc heard voices too.
- I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
- I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.
- As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
- When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.
- The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
- As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.
- All of me is beautiful, even the ugly, stupid and disgusting parts.
- I am at one with my duality.
- Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.
- Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.
- I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.
- I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.
- Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"
- False hope is better than no hope at all.
- A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.
- Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear in the Hollywood Cafe. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
- Who can I blame for my problems? Just give me a minute. . . . I'll find someone.
- Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?
- The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.
- I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
- Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.
- To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.
- I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
- Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.
Submitted By: Anonymous
Jun 8, 1998 17:51
This joke is rated: G