What Men Really Mean

What They SayWhat They Mean
In Any Situation
I'm hungryI'm hungry
I'm sleepyI'm sleepy
I'm tiredI'm tired
One-On-One Situation
Do you want to go to a movie?I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
May I have this dance?I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Nice dress!Nice cleavage
You look tense, let me give you a massageI want to fondle you.
In A Group
Anyone want to go eat?I want to go eat
Who wants to see this movie?Do we have to see this movie?
Who wants to see this movie?Doesn't anyone else want to see this movie?
Already Trapped in a "Relationship"
What's wrong?I don't see why are you making such a big deal out of this.
What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
Oh no! Not again!
Quit whining!
Oh god of all creatures big and small, please don't let it be a long one!
I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
Yes dearBitch!
I'm boredDo you want to have sex?
I love youLet's have sex now.
I love you tooNow why did you have to say that, it makes my stomach turn.
Yes, I missed youHow else do you expect me to answer that?
And how I missed youBitch!
Answering to her "Did you think that girl was pretty" Question
She was alrightIf an elephant came into the room, would I not see it?
Sure, let's go see that playI don't want to go, but you'll make my life miserable if I don't go.
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair I liked it better before.
50 bucks and it doesn't look that much different!
For 50 bucks they should have given you more hair instead of taking some away.
Let's talkI am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
Hello, FTD? I'd like to send some flowers to my girlfriend/wife... This ought to shut her up for a while at the expense of some humiliation from my male peers.
This ought to secure sex with her tonight!
While Shopping
I like that one betterpick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well togetherI am gay
Will you marry me? I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
I might as well get tax benefits for going through these "talks"
I don't want to have "talks" over the phone anymore.

Submitted By: Anonymous

This joke is rated: R