Windows98 Source Code

/*
  TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
  Project: Chicago(tm)
  Projected release-date: Summer 1998
*/

#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
void main()
{
  while(!CRASHED)
  {
    display_copyright_message();
    display_bill_rules_message();
    do_nothing_loop();
    if (first_time_installation)
    {
      make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
      do_nothing_loop();
      totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
      search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
      hang_system();
    }

    write_something(anything);
    display_copyright_message();
    do_nothing_loop();
    do_some_stuff();

    if (still_not_crashed)
    {
      display_copyright_message();
      do_nothing_loop();
      basically_run_windows_3.1();
      do_nothing_loop();
      do_nothing_loop();
    }
  }

  if (detect_cache())
    disable_cache();

  if (fast_cpu())
  {
    set_wait_states(lots);
    set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
    set_mouse(action, jumpy);
    set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
  }

  /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
  /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
  printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
  if (system_ok())
    crash(to_dos_prompt);
  else
     system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

  while(something)
  {
    sleep(5);
    get_user_input();
    sleep(5);
    act_on_user_input();
    sleep(5);
  }
  create_general_protection_fault();
}

Submitted By: Ken Reinert
Jul 2, 1998 11:33

This joke is rated: G