A Woman's Dictionary
- Argument(ar*gyou*ment) n.
- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
- Airhead(er*hed) n.
- What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
- Bar-be-que(bar*bi*q) n
- You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
- Blonde jokes(blond joks) n.
- Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
- Cantaloupe(kant*e*lope) n
- Gotta get married in a church.
- Clothes dryer(kloze dri*yer) n.
- An appliance designed to eat socks.
- Diet Soda(dy*it so*da) n.
- A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
- Eternity(e*ter*ni*tee) n.
- The last two minutes of a football game.
- Exercise(ex*er*siz) v
- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
- Grocery List(grow*ser*ee list) n.
- What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
- Hair Dresser(hare dres*er) n.
- Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
- Hardware Store(hard*war stor) n
- Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
- Childbirth(child*brth) n.
- You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breathe...push..."
- Lipstick(lip*stik) n
- On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
- Park(park) v./n.
- Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
- Patience(pa*shens) n.
- The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
- Waterproof Mascara(wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
- Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
- Valentine's Day(val*en*tinez dae) n
- A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
Submitted By: Best of: Humor Mailing List
Jul 20, 1998 08:07
This joke is rated: PG