Why Women Are Better Than Guitars
- Women are more fun when the power goes out
- You can't get your guitar wet
- Ever try to screw a guitar?
- The input to a guitar is only 1/4"
- A guitar won't beg to be played
- It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it
- When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue
- Guitars aren't very aggressive
- A guitar won't play you back
- You need two hands to make a guitar scream
- A guitar won't scratch *your* back
- A guitar won't drive you home if you're too drunk
- A guitar doesn't care who plays it
- You can't play two guitars at once
- You can't fall in love with a guitar (well, maybe you can, but they can't love you back)
- It's a lot more fun to stretch out a woman than guitar strings.
- Guitar lessons aren't free and aren't as much fun.
- If you really *do* want little guitars, you have to buy them.
- You can't marry a rich guitar.
- Even a good guitar won't usually last a whole lifetime.
- Guitars don't taste very good.
- A guitar won't give you head.