You Might Be A Yankee If . . . .
- You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
- You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY!
- You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire
- For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
- You don't know what a moon pie is.
- You've never had grain alcohol.
- You've never, ever, eaten Okra.
- You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
- You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are
- You have no idea what a polecat is.
- Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it
over your head.
- You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
- You don't have bangs.
- You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags..
- More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of
same prep school in Connecticut.
- You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get
his own TV fishing show.
- Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call
"you guys," even if both of them are women.
- You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.
- You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife
- You think more money should go to important scientific research at
your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
- You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the
- The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from
on an on-ramp on the highway.
- You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
- The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at
- You call binoculars opera glasses.
- You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side
of the road and stopping.
- You would never wear pink or an appliqu=E9 sweatshirt.
- You don't know what appliqu=E9 is.
- You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy
Kay Bob, Bob Bob)
- You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make
- You've never been to a craft show.
- You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
- You can't do your laundry without quarters.
- None of your fur coats are homemade
Submitted By: Albert Kelly
Feb 18, 1997 00:12
This joke is rated: PG