How To Answer The Phone

  • Sound like an operator and make a tape saying:
    "I'm sorry, the number that has dialed you is not in service. Will you please hang up and let it dial again... I'm sorry, the..."
  • "Hello, is this the person to whom I am speaking?"
  • My solution is upon realizing that I'm talking with a "telemarketing representative", I ask: "Are you a telemarketer?" The answer (suprisingly) is usually yes. I then go into a sales pitch to sell a (nonexistant) telephone ear-cusion.
    I insist that every telemarketer must have one for safety and comfort. Eventually, they'll forget to try selling me anything.
  • A recent posting by Duke McMullan requested ways to repel telephone solicitors. My friend Pepe Tres from Texas told me this one and gave permission to post it:
    "My time is billed at $125 per hour. To continue this conversation, I must have your MasterCard or Visa number, card type and date of expiration."
    Pepe says it usually leaves them speechless. One guy replied, "Hey, that's good; I'll have to remember it." Once a supervisor of telephone solicitors called back and asked him if he was "some kind of high-powered lawyer."
  • Everybody gets and dials wrong numbers. It's good to be nice about it. What goes around comes around, right? so, I try to reassure the apologetic and embarrassed wrong dialers that will actually converse once the error is discovered, with it going something like this:
    caller w. wrong number: "Gee, I'm sorry..."
    me: "That's OK, I was going to pick up the phone anyway.."
  • How about the 'Fraudian Slip Answer'? Like this:
    here. What can I do to-----I MEAN-----FOR you?
  • Try the following next time the phone rings:
    You (when you answer): Hello, is Jimmy there?
    Caller: No, I'm afraid you have a wrong number.
    You: Oh. Sorry.
    Caller: No problem... (click)

Submitted By: Anonymous

This joke is rated: PG
Tags: Advice list