- Finally, a Barbie doll with horizontal feet
comfortable sandals. Made from recycled materials.
Comes in a package with Skipper and Ken.
An anthropologist Barbie with pith helmet,
camera, detachable limbs, fake blood, and the ability to perform
surgery on herself in the Outback.
Blue Collar Barbie
Comes with overalls, protective goggles, lunch
pail, UAW membership, pamphlet on union-organizing and pay scales for
women as compared to men. Waitressing outfits and cashier's aprons
may be purchased separately for Barbies who are holding down second
jobs in order to make ends meet.
Our Barbies Ourselves
Anatomically correct Barbie, both inside and
out, comes with spreadable legs, her own speculum, magnifying glass,
and detailed diagrams of female anatomy so that little girls can learn
about their bodies in a friendly, non-threatening way. Also included:
tiny Kotex, booklets on sexual responsibility. Accessories such as
contraceptives, sex toys, expanding uterus with fetus at various
stages of development, and breastpump are all optional, underscoring
that each young woman has the right to chose what she does with her
So why not? Women rabbis are on the cutting edge in
Judaism. Rebbe Barbie comes with tiny satin yarmulke, prayer shawl,
teffilin, silver kaddish cup, Torah scrolls. Optional: tiny mezzuzah
for doorway of Barbie Townhouse.
Truly fly Barble in midriff-bearing shirt and baggy
jeans. Comes with gold jewelry, hip-hop accessories, and plenty of
attitude. Pull cord and she says things like "I don't think
so,""Dang, get outta my face," and "You go, girl." Teaches girls not
to take s--- from men and condesending White people.
Formerly known as G.I. Joe.
Hey, kids, experiment with an autonomous two-legged
walking machine! After falling over, she says "Control theory is
hard. Damn these spike heels anyway!"
Dinner Roll Barbie
A Barbie with multiple love handles, double chin, a
real curvy belly, generous t-ts and ass, and voluminous thighs to show
girls that voluptuousness is also beautiful. Comes with a miniature
of dinner rolls, tiny Entenmann's walnut ring, a t-shirt reading "Only
Weak Don't Eat," and, of course, an appetite.
The recent announcement that Mattel and the producers of "Baywatch"
have joined forces to create Baywatch Barbie came as no surprise.
After all, both companies have made millions off airheads with
flawless skins, Malibu tans and synthetic breasts.
If Baywatch Barbie sells well, other Barbie/TV tie-ins seem certain to
follow. Some possibilities:
Melrose Place Barbie
Comes complete with her Barbie Dream Apartment,
where Skipper and the rest of the gang live rent-free. Other
accessories include a bottle of vodka, silk sheets, and an arrest
Dr. Barbie, Medicine Woman
This helpful doll offers other
homesteaders important tips like what conditioner to use out on the
Plains and how to take care of their nails while shoeing a horse.
America's Most Wanted Barbie
She's on the run after 30 years of crime
Push a button on her back and this Barbie actually
speaks! Hold your very own talk show with topics like how tough math
class is, Ballerina Barbie's struggle with bulimia, Kens who wear
My So-Called Barbie
She faces the same troubling issues as regular
teens who don't have huge wardrobes, perfect bods, pools, and ponies.
The dark side of the American dream is explored with
this doll, which shows what happened after Barbie graduated from high
school, married too young and ate too much.
Murder, Barbie Wrote
Whenever this elder stateswoman of the Barbie
set (she's 27!) arrives in the playhouse, all the other dolls
Made flexible enough to wrap around her very own pole
(included, of course)! Also comes with garter belt and easy-off